1/11/2024 0 Comments Mom sample obituary for motherShe had a fair complexion, like her mother. A product of Manhattan, Bess had no awareness of wild animals, so when she inevitably encountered a bear/coyote/mountain lion (apparently no longer nocturnal due to ambient city light, which she’d have known if she’d read the article I sent her), she may as well have had a giant sign around her neck that said, “DINNER.” It also could have been sunstroke that did her in. We mourn the death of Bess Kalb, twenty-five, beloved daughter and sister, who passed away late yesterday while hiking in the middle of nowhere with no cell-phone reception. Bess is survived by her brother, who once looked up to her. If the kitchen in this “co-op” where the jam was prepared looks anything like it did six months ago, there is compost decaying right there on the counter next to the sink. She certainly had no formal training in sterile canning and preservation. The housemate, Aviva Something, holds a degree in-I kid you not- modern culture and media. The cause of death was botulism from a homemade strawberry-rhubarb jam that was prepared by one of her housemates. It is with deep sorrow that we announce the passing of Bess Kalb, twenty-four, of San Francisco, formerly of New York.
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